A Very Sad, Sad Day

It is with great heartbreak I must tell everyone that my beautiful Merlin was found deceased on Thursday evening.  The vet said it was from natural causes.  He was 11.5 years old.  I am absolutely heart broken.

Thursday afternoon at 12:30 I returned from taking Isis to the vet to see if there was anything they could do to help her aging body.  She is completely "there" as far as brain, eyes and ears go.  Just her body is giving out at the age of 14 years.  We came home with some pills for her.  

When I returned, Merlin was there to greet me as usual, along with his yard buddy Ebony.  Happy, wagging tails, looking for his ball.  Everything was normal.  Until 5:00PM when Mark went out to do afternoon chores.  It was unusual for only Ebony to greet him at the gate so he called to Merlin.  He could see him laying on the deck of his dog house.  But Merlin didn't move.  Mark feared the worst.  And he was correct.  There was Merlin, laying as if he was asleep.  He hadn't been gone for long.  The vet thought it was possibly his heart. Im not going to do an autopsy.   He looked very comfortable, not as if he had been in any pain.  This is just so awful for us.  The whole pack has been grieving.  The dogs have been howling, constantly looking for him.  He was the "main man".  He would lie on top of his dog house and survey his domain like a big ol' lion.  He knew how gorgeous he was.  He knew that all he saw belonged to him. Including that pack of girls!  His was royal in nature.  Kind and gentle.  Courageous and strong.  Smart and wise.  He brought 6 beautiful litters into the world and now I wish it had been more.  It is devastating.

I'm sorry it has taken this long to tell everyone but I just couldn't put it in writing until today.  I can't talk about it out loud or I burst into tears.  I've cancelled all appointment this week as I'm just a wreck.  All I want to do is bury my head in my puppies.  And how I wish those were Merlin puppies now.  He was going to sire my next two litters and I was going to keep a male from him.  But that's not going to happen now.  Those of you who have Merlin puppies, please give them an extra special hug tonight.

Mark and I are absolutely heartbroken.  And you're not going to believe this!  I had to tell someone why I was crying the other day and they said "well it's not so bad because you have other dogs".  I just turned and walked away.  I was so shocked I couldn't say anything.  I wish I had said this "Do you have kids?  Oh, well then if one died it wouldn't be so bad because you have others!"

Well I can't see the screen anymore through the tears so I guess that's it.

Mary Ann